was trustin too much my fault?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

currentli.. reali MOODLESS.. no mood at all.. feelin sick to e brain. e pshychos.. reali drivin me psycho.. i haf no idea wd to do.. i wann .. i wannna.. i dunnoe wd la! im doin my OA all ovr again. fadzus flyin in n outtaf me head nw n thn.. sickenin it is. cos im sad. k hu cares whthr im sad. i dun cre meself either. i dunnoe wth im tokin abt.

stayed ovr at mehrus hse. big story. pap ask me to take taxi at 11 n cum home. dunow wds rong wif him. n all of e psychos jzu ask me.. "wads rong wif YOU" as usual. im e truoble kid, im e black sheep.. im e top of the problems. i wonder y they put up wif me. oh ya.. theres this thing called. LOVE u see.. haiz. wdeva la

k fine. of cos i love e psychos of me family. i love them to bits. in a fit of anger i tol her tht im gona run away. n i duwan to b treated like a maid in e goddamned hse. confinement! i hate it. i went thru hel. stayin hoem al dae doin hse werk. n wdeva . n so to her.. this is caled threatening.. wd in e whole blue werld can ido if she thinks like tht? ok so nvm. she canot keep it to her self. she has to tel evyting to her "baby" n thts my pap. k probabli i hurt her alot.. yesh i noe i did. bt it ws not on purpose. i ws angry! noe wds e meanin of FREAKIN ANGRY?

last nyt perima toked to me.. n wel she had a point. she had actuali.. alot of points. like.. e werds i used.. its all cos of ITE. thts cliche. ok.. i mean thts wd e psychos in me hse think. i wasnt like tht b4.. n oni after i went to ite.. n after mixin arnd wif e rong company ive bcum liek tht FREAKIN BULSHIT. hu do i eva mix arnd wif in sch.. i dun haf wd u cal close frens in sch.. all my close frens cum frm sec sch darlin!!!! e onni ppl i hang out wif at bishan.. zura.. shila..daya. shahida.. jeevi.. n no one else fer ematter of fact.. n im not even, close to them. i mean we al haf our own things.. we r jz togethr.. cos we r together i mean.. mebe im sayin it rongli. bt im tryin to say tht i m def not mixin wif e rong company. these gals are diamonds man! they r not rong company..

i wanna go out. i wan sum freedom in me life.. its me holz fer gdnes sakes. y askin me stupid fkin qns like "so wd if its ur holz. muz run wild isit" YESH WD IF I SAY YESH I WANNA RUN WILD!!!! i wanna do so many things.. wd e hel u pshychos tryin to do? k so.. i made a mistake n mebe u found out.. bt als done n ovr wif wd?? n y nt jzu tel me wd u found out?? y make me sick to e brain? Y YYYYYYYYYY?

evyone has wd they wan.. happenin lifestyle.. latest stuffs.. n me. i feel like smal child beggin fer a life.. hw long u gona treat me like thi.. liek a freakin smal gal hu doesnt noe niting abt e freakin werld? i jz wanna see.. u say u trust.. bt wth? bulshit!

no muackz. no nth

JuLiE

<3 Thursday, July 06, 2006;